Inner Realm Regarding Relationships |
A ValentineVision
Every year Valentine’s Day gives us a new opportunity to renew our love and set goals
for our relationship. All too soon, however, many of us fall off the wagon and our new
behaviors and goals are out the window. It is especially easy for this to happen when
our resolutions have to do with relationships. Frequently, our resolve is to behave in a
different way. However, this new behavior is often imposed on a foundation of old
habits and patterns that, being ingrained, easily sabotage the new actions being
taken.
I suggest that instead of a resolution, which is a resolve to do something, we set an
intention and create a vision of what we want our relationship to be. To do that, we
first set an intention of what we want to create, for example, it might be, “I want to
create a harmonious relationship”, or “I want more passion with my partner”. Then,
we feel what that would be like. According to the rules of manifestation, we are far
more likely to manifest what we want when we can feel it as if it has already
happened. For example, if you want to create more peace at home, you need to feel
what that would be like. Imagine that you are living in harmony and balance and allow
yourself to feel how you would feel with your partner. Experience feeling contented,
peaceful, happy, and satisfied. We have to do what Gandhi advised when he said in
order to create peace we have to “become the peace that you want to see in the
world.” The same is true for joy, passion, or fun!
You have to know what you want and you have to really want it in order to create it.
Setting an intention requires clarity and focus. Holding a vision requires willingness
and commitment. Together these inspire you to be more aware and more conscious
of what you are doing. This active consciousness ensures the manifestation of your
desire.
Whether we desire to create a shift in our relationship or create a new job, the
process is the same. We set an intention (mind), we create a vision (soul), and then
we commit to being actively conscious (body). The consciousness is what ensures
you’re staying in integrity with your intention. Staying aware that you have a choice in
every moment, and that each choice has a consequence helps you make choices
that support your vision.
Our intention and vision create a higher vibration. The awareness and
consciousness that we bring to our thoughts, words, and actions maintain the
vibration. This approach to resolutions is not about determining what behaviors you
are going to do or to change. It is not about setting time limits and goals. It is not
about doing. It is about becoming.
How does this work? It is not magical. It is totally based on energy and energy has
different vibrations. If we keep wishing and hoping for something to change, and all
the while we are complaining, whining and bemoaning how bad things are, we are
bringing only negative energy to the situation and nothing will change for the better.
However, when we hold a vision, when we feel what it is that we want, we are holding
a vibration of positive energy. Eventually, whatever is around us rises up to meet that
vibration. A strong positive vibration, like a party full of happy people, creates a field for
the negative vibration to shift. The sad people at that happy party can’t help but feel
lighter.
A Course In Miracles tells us that, “a miracle is a shift in perception”. A shift in how we
see things changes the energy and vibration. So, if you want to create a shift in your
relationship you have to change not only your words and actions but also your
thoughts and feelings. If you are doing the “right” actions in order to create change but
you’re feeling angry and resentful, the change will not happen. Our thoughts and
feelings have to be in alignment with our words and actions.
Set an intention for your relationship, create a vision, feel it and commit to it. Feel the
peace, or passion or whatever it is that you want to create. Along with your vision,
choose to see your partner with eyes of love. Send him/her loving energy. Have
compassion for the pain s/he is in. See your partner with kinder, softer eyes, with
compassion, and with an open loving heart. Make it a way of life, give it time,
surrender attachment to the outcome, and watch the miracle happen. A shift will
occur.
Every year Valentine’s Day gives us a new opportunity to renew our love and set goals
for our relationship. All too soon, however, many of us fall off the wagon and our new
behaviors and goals are out the window. It is especially easy for this to happen when
our resolutions have to do with relationships. Frequently, our resolve is to behave in a
different way. However, this new behavior is often imposed on a foundation of old
habits and patterns that, being ingrained, easily sabotage the new actions being
taken.
I suggest that instead of a resolution, which is a resolve to do something, we set an
intention and create a vision of what we want our relationship to be. To do that, we
first set an intention of what we want to create, for example, it might be, “I want to
create a harmonious relationship”, or “I want more passion with my partner”. Then,
we feel what that would be like. According to the rules of manifestation, we are far
more likely to manifest what we want when we can feel it as if it has already
happened. For example, if you want to create more peace at home, you need to feel
what that would be like. Imagine that you are living in harmony and balance and allow
yourself to feel how you would feel with your partner. Experience feeling contented,
peaceful, happy, and satisfied. We have to do what Gandhi advised when he said in
order to create peace we have to “become the peace that you want to see in the
world.” The same is true for joy, passion, or fun!
You have to know what you want and you have to really want it in order to create it.
Setting an intention requires clarity and focus. Holding a vision requires willingness
and commitment. Together these inspire you to be more aware and more conscious
of what you are doing. This active consciousness ensures the manifestation of your
desire.
Whether we desire to create a shift in our relationship or create a new job, the
process is the same. We set an intention (mind), we create a vision (soul), and then
we commit to being actively conscious (body). The consciousness is what ensures
you’re staying in integrity with your intention. Staying aware that you have a choice in
every moment, and that each choice has a consequence helps you make choices
that support your vision.
Our intention and vision create a higher vibration. The awareness and
consciousness that we bring to our thoughts, words, and actions maintain the
vibration. This approach to resolutions is not about determining what behaviors you
are going to do or to change. It is not about setting time limits and goals. It is not
about doing. It is about becoming.
How does this work? It is not magical. It is totally based on energy and energy has
different vibrations. If we keep wishing and hoping for something to change, and all
the while we are complaining, whining and bemoaning how bad things are, we are
bringing only negative energy to the situation and nothing will change for the better.
However, when we hold a vision, when we feel what it is that we want, we are holding
a vibration of positive energy. Eventually, whatever is around us rises up to meet that
vibration. A strong positive vibration, like a party full of happy people, creates a field for
the negative vibration to shift. The sad people at that happy party can’t help but feel
lighter.
A Course In Miracles tells us that, “a miracle is a shift in perception”. A shift in how we
see things changes the energy and vibration. So, if you want to create a shift in your
relationship you have to change not only your words and actions but also your
thoughts and feelings. If you are doing the “right” actions in order to create change but
you’re feeling angry and resentful, the change will not happen. Our thoughts and
feelings have to be in alignment with our words and actions.
Set an intention for your relationship, create a vision, feel it and commit to it. Feel the
peace, or passion or whatever it is that you want to create. Along with your vision,
choose to see your partner with eyes of love. Send him/her loving energy. Have
compassion for the pain s/he is in. See your partner with kinder, softer eyes, with
compassion, and with an open loving heart. Make it a way of life, give it time,
surrender attachment to the outcome, and watch the miracle happen. A shift will
occur.
Marina Maurino works with individuals and couples (with her husband, Joseph Maurino, LCSW). She teaches her clients to access their core feelings and to understand relationship dynamics in order to resolve issues and restore balance to their lives. For info about private sessions, couples counseling, or healing circles please call 201-967-9377. |
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