The Power of Giving and Receiving
By Rita Desnoyers-Garcia
As a mother of three small children, coach, teacher, writer, and entrepreneur, I have often been
drawn to the notion of having it all and living in abundance. I wanted it all- the full house of happy
children, the handsome and supportive husband, and the thriving and meaningful career. OK, I do
have most of that. But, what about the cash? The ever flowing wads of green stuff so we can buy
whatever we want, donate without feeling the pinch, and not having to make either/or choices about
our money. These feelings and desires inspired me to discuss some strategies and tools with you
that have been helping me shift my beliefs around living in abundance. When the beliefs changed,
the abundance began manifesting in my world.
There are scores of articles, books, seminars about abundance and money out there. And I don't
want to regurgitate information that you can easily get elsewhere. But, I do want to focus on an
aspect of attracting more abundance, including money, that I think gets overlooked. It is about giving
and receiving. Living in abundance is based on these two components. You must give and receive
to create the cycle or flow of abundance. If you are doing just one, the system breaks down. If you
give with fear and receive with resentment, you are blocking the flow.
Just observing how comfortable you are with these two seemingly opposite actions can
significantly shift your beliefs and therefore, energy, around abundance, and let the cycle continue. It
will unclog the drain and let the waters flow again.
Growing up I was told it was better to give than to receive. As a mother, it seemed to be a
requirement. You better give, and who knows when you will receive. You give to your children, your
spouse, your friends, your family, your local charities, your community, and so on. As a mother you
can literally give until it hurts. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? Now, there is nothing wrong
with giving. Giving is essential. What you give is not important. It is how you give that makes the
impact. Do you give from obligation or joy? Guilt or love? Fear or fullness? Do you give with an
expectation that you better get something back or without expectation? Do you give to impress or
with inner peace? The energy that goes into giving will dictate not only how you feel but how the
receiver feels. If giving with the energy of fear or love, all are affected.
But, why is there a trend to give with resentment when we know giving is good for everyone? My
theory is that mothers, and women in general, give from a half-empty, if not completely dry, tank. We
run our engine without thought of filling up. Most of us would never expect our cars to run for a very
long time without going to the gas station to fill up. We know to constantly fuel our kids up so that
they "run" more healthily. But, what about us? We literally treat our cars better than ourselves.
You've probably heard all this before, but have you really stopped to feel the impact of how not filling
up affects your energy around giving?
Now, how about receiving. That is usually the one with which we have the most challenges. That's
the gas we need to run the car to do the giving that we so want to do. How do you receive things?
Are you comfortable receiving? Do you feel that you deserve to receive?
Here's an example. I had a gathering of moms over a while back. I had served some snacks,
drinks, created a nice atmosphere. Everyone had a great time including myself. I was giving and
feeling good about it. Then at the end, my friend told me she had such a great time and thanked
me. I could have said "You're welcome. See you soon.", but my knee jerk response was to say "It
was nothing, Thank you for coming!" You may not see the difference here. It is deliberately
deceptive. I realized afterward that I was not receiving her compliment. I was not letting her give me
something. I felt undeserving of the thanks. I also had a false sense of power being the ultimate
giver- the super mom who needs nothing and gives everything. After a time, I ran-out of fuel and felt
resentful and martyred.
What to do? Here's a practical exercise: Get a small notebook that you can bring with you, if
possible, or if not, use at the end of the day. Whenever you give or receive something, write it down
in the notebook. Everything you give or receive. I'm talking money, food, clothes, advice,
compliments, tickets, toys, kisses, hugs, insults everything! Now in the beginning, just record what
they are and whether it was given or received. You could make two columns for ease of use. You'll
be surprised what you write for just one day. Do this for a few days until you see a trend of how
much you observe as given and received.
Once you get into this habit of recording, add this next element. With each item given or received,
record the feelings you observe. The first feelings- not the ones you think you should have, but the
ones that come in the beginning. That will give you a clue into how you really feel and the energy
you put out.
You may find that you feel good when you receive a compliment, but then go into self-criticism
almost immediately. That is good information! Remember to not judge yourself for your discoveries.
This is all information gathering here. It is helping you to get an understanding of why this flow of
abundance is not flowing your way. It is helping you diagnose so you can later make new choices
for yourself. It is a tool to stop the knee-jerk programming you have been working under for so long.
The key is to feel good with giving and feel great with receiving. That is keeping the flow of living in
abundance in all forms. The flow that is meant for you.
Rita Desnoyers-Garcia has devoted over 20 years to helping women discover and reach their full
potential. Founder of Becoming Awake and The Meditating and Manifesting Mamas Project, she
offers coaching, classes, and workshops. Her popular book Extraordinary Abundance and
abundance course is available online at http://www.extraordinaryabundance.com and includes
more of her personal insights on living in abundance and the power of giving and receiving. Rita
lives in South Orange, NJ and can be contacted
at rita.desnoyers@gmail.com
By Rita Desnoyers-Garcia
As a mother of three small children, coach, teacher, writer, and entrepreneur, I have often been
drawn to the notion of having it all and living in abundance. I wanted it all- the full house of happy
children, the handsome and supportive husband, and the thriving and meaningful career. OK, I do
have most of that. But, what about the cash? The ever flowing wads of green stuff so we can buy
whatever we want, donate without feeling the pinch, and not having to make either/or choices about
our money. These feelings and desires inspired me to discuss some strategies and tools with you
that have been helping me shift my beliefs around living in abundance. When the beliefs changed,
the abundance began manifesting in my world.
There are scores of articles, books, seminars about abundance and money out there. And I don't
want to regurgitate information that you can easily get elsewhere. But, I do want to focus on an
aspect of attracting more abundance, including money, that I think gets overlooked. It is about giving
and receiving. Living in abundance is based on these two components. You must give and receive
to create the cycle or flow of abundance. If you are doing just one, the system breaks down. If you
give with fear and receive with resentment, you are blocking the flow.
Just observing how comfortable you are with these two seemingly opposite actions can
significantly shift your beliefs and therefore, energy, around abundance, and let the cycle continue. It
will unclog the drain and let the waters flow again.
Growing up I was told it was better to give than to receive. As a mother, it seemed to be a
requirement. You better give, and who knows when you will receive. You give to your children, your
spouse, your friends, your family, your local charities, your community, and so on. As a mother you
can literally give until it hurts. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? Now, there is nothing wrong
with giving. Giving is essential. What you give is not important. It is how you give that makes the
impact. Do you give from obligation or joy? Guilt or love? Fear or fullness? Do you give with an
expectation that you better get something back or without expectation? Do you give to impress or
with inner peace? The energy that goes into giving will dictate not only how you feel but how the
receiver feels. If giving with the energy of fear or love, all are affected.
But, why is there a trend to give with resentment when we know giving is good for everyone? My
theory is that mothers, and women in general, give from a half-empty, if not completely dry, tank. We
run our engine without thought of filling up. Most of us would never expect our cars to run for a very
long time without going to the gas station to fill up. We know to constantly fuel our kids up so that
they "run" more healthily. But, what about us? We literally treat our cars better than ourselves.
You've probably heard all this before, but have you really stopped to feel the impact of how not filling
up affects your energy around giving?
Now, how about receiving. That is usually the one with which we have the most challenges. That's
the gas we need to run the car to do the giving that we so want to do. How do you receive things?
Are you comfortable receiving? Do you feel that you deserve to receive?
Here's an example. I had a gathering of moms over a while back. I had served some snacks,
drinks, created a nice atmosphere. Everyone had a great time including myself. I was giving and
feeling good about it. Then at the end, my friend told me she had such a great time and thanked
me. I could have said "You're welcome. See you soon.", but my knee jerk response was to say "It
was nothing, Thank you for coming!" You may not see the difference here. It is deliberately
deceptive. I realized afterward that I was not receiving her compliment. I was not letting her give me
something. I felt undeserving of the thanks. I also had a false sense of power being the ultimate
giver- the super mom who needs nothing and gives everything. After a time, I ran-out of fuel and felt
resentful and martyred.
What to do? Here's a practical exercise: Get a small notebook that you can bring with you, if
possible, or if not, use at the end of the day. Whenever you give or receive something, write it down
in the notebook. Everything you give or receive. I'm talking money, food, clothes, advice,
compliments, tickets, toys, kisses, hugs, insults everything! Now in the beginning, just record what
they are and whether it was given or received. You could make two columns for ease of use. You'll
be surprised what you write for just one day. Do this for a few days until you see a trend of how
much you observe as given and received.
Once you get into this habit of recording, add this next element. With each item given or received,
record the feelings you observe. The first feelings- not the ones you think you should have, but the
ones that come in the beginning. That will give you a clue into how you really feel and the energy
you put out.
You may find that you feel good when you receive a compliment, but then go into self-criticism
almost immediately. That is good information! Remember to not judge yourself for your discoveries.
This is all information gathering here. It is helping you to get an understanding of why this flow of
abundance is not flowing your way. It is helping you diagnose so you can later make new choices
for yourself. It is a tool to stop the knee-jerk programming you have been working under for so long.
The key is to feel good with giving and feel great with receiving. That is keeping the flow of living in
abundance in all forms. The flow that is meant for you.
Rita Desnoyers-Garcia has devoted over 20 years to helping women discover and reach their full
potential. Founder of Becoming Awake and The Meditating and Manifesting Mamas Project, she
offers coaching, classes, and workshops. Her popular book Extraordinary Abundance and
abundance course is available online at http://www.extraordinaryabundance.com and includes
more of her personal insights on living in abundance and the power of giving and receiving. Rita
lives in South Orange, NJ and can be contacted
at rita.desnoyers@gmail.com
Rita Desnoyers-Garcia has devoted over 20 years to helping women discover and reach their full potential. Founder of Becoming Awake and The Meditating and Manifesting Mamas Project, she offers coaching, classes, and workshops. Her popular book Extraordinary Abundance and abundance course is available online at http://www.extraordinar yabundance.com and includes more of her personal insights on living in abundance and the power of giving and receiving. Rita lives in South Orange, NJ and can be contacted at rita.desnoyers@gmail. com |
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